What's Love Got to Do with It??? Your livelihood, that is.

Can I sidetrack for just a second? There is something that has seriously been bothering me for the past couple of days. First off, I need to tell you that I am an ardent fan of Asian culture. By Asian, I mean Japanese, Indian, and most recently Korean. I totally understand that lots of people are in love with American culture, but there is something about our Eastern neighbors that is so classy. They have a way of distinguishing moments and situations so that each event is handled with the amount of grace and tactfulness that it deserves and I love that! So, to learn from these cultures (and to entertain myself) I watch Hindi and other Indian movies, as well as Japanese and Korean shows. Most of these involve comedy or romance. I learned my freshman year of college that I am a serious softy for romance. A good monologue will definitely bring on the waterworks, sadly enough.
With that information in mind, I was watching a Korean comedy known as “Playful” or “Mischievous Kiss.” In this show, there’s this girl who has a bit of a crush on a guy at her school. Well, this crush goes on for a few years, and that’s when I realized that this was not a crush, but in fact a rather serious obsession. She is totally obsessed with this guy! When I say obsessed, I really mean OBSESSED. It’s not cute. It’s not fan-girl cute or Edward Cullen staring at Bella as she sleeps cute, it’s just creepy. I mean there is nothing this girl won’t do to be with this guy and everybody knows about it. Her dad just looks on, her friends encourage her, heck, the poor boys mom is on the girl’s side and even helps stalk her son! Seriously, it is so weird. And the guy in question is a total punk. He just goes along with the foolishness as if he has nothing better to, but here’s the sad part: he doesn’t say no, but he doesn’t say yes either. He knows that wherever he goes he can’t escape the clutches of Oh Ha Ni (the stalker). And you know what? I think he likes it. In fact I’m sure of it, by the last episode they’re on their honeymoon. But that’s beside the point. . I know this is a show and that if this were to happen in real life, it would without a doubt go down much differently, but still! Why is she wasting her time on this loser? There are two other, much more attractive and friendly guys who are very interested in her, but all she can see is what’s-his-face. He’s so mean to her, but still she follows him around like a shadow every day. Is this what people perceive as love nowadays? Do you love someone when all you hope for the future is to be wherever that guy or gal of your dreams is? What about your future and goals in life? Just because you love someone, does that mean that you have the option of totally forgetting that you are a different person with separate thoughts and beliefs? Maybe that’s why some people are afraid of the idea of a long-term relationship...

To Cook or Not to Cook?

Let me say this about myself: Food is a rather large part of my life. As a child, I was especially good at quitting things: wrestling, ballet, marching band...well marching was fairly recent, but that is beside the point. The point is it’s hard for me to find something that I am actually capable of sticking to. So, when I found out that I love eating, (and later cooking) I decided that perhaps my long-term love of food was a message from God. In my opinion, my eagerness to always quit things was not because I was a quitter, but because those things were simply not meant for me! Since middle school, I began seriously thinking about pursuing a career in the food service industry and look at me now; a sophomore culinary student at Johnson & Wales University. Frickin’ Johnson & Wales University!! How exciting!!!!!!

But I digress. Unfortunately, I’m afraid that food may not love me back.

Isn’t it the worst to have a one-sided love? I think that if food and I loved each other equally, whenever I cook, it would be like Beethoven creating a musical masterpiece and that just isn’t the case for me. Sometimes after I cook, I just stare at the disaster I made and wallow in self-pity for a few minutes as my ego points almost visually plummet. I sometimes wonder if I have become one of those people that put words into God's mouth just to have things go their own way. I’m sure it doesn’t help that when I cook, it’s a lot like how some people watch TV. My mind goes into some kind of half-coma while my body performs the functions that I think I want to do. Like I said before, sometimes it’s good and sometimes, it’s really bad. Maybe I have ADD? Seriously, I just want to go one week where when I think of something and make it, I’m proud of what I did because it actually turns out the way I thought. Maybe I have culinary dyslexia? Success in the kitchen is very sporadic for me and much like the guy I love who just doesn’t seem to feel the same way about me, I always seem to be the party that gets hurt. My meal can turn out well, but you better believe I’ve burnt myself or cut some appendage; or, the meal looks like it’s coming along, but then it is ruined. Is it really worth it in the end? Is this a case where the answer to my grief is abandon ship, or practice makes perfect? I sure hope it’s the latter; otherwise I’m going to need for God to send me another memo about my life’s purpose.

Who's Crazy?

If you know me, you can deduce from a couple meetings that while I may be a nice person, with morals and values and all that jazz, I’m also a little crazy. If you haven’t met me, well now you know, but you also know that I have come to terms - no, accepted that I am what I am and that makes me a better person...right? Right! But it’s not really my fault; the world around me is a naturally crazy place and I believe that it just kinda rubbed off on me. Doesn’t that make sense? It’s a typical case of nature versus nurture. In this case, I’m going to call nurture all of the odd social interactions I have had as a child until today. But we all live in the same world, right? So, somebody has had to have these odd experiences along with me...right?...Right?

Third Time's a Charm

Well, I’ve been trying to blog since February 2009 according to my empty Blogger account. I have written about horrifying experiences with roommates, my budding cooking career, and some other stuff, but nothing was really speaking to me. If even the writer thinks that their stuff is crap, well then that’s just not good. But as I was reading some of my friends blogs, I realized, you don’t have to tell just one story, you can wiggle around a bit, test the water and write about whatever you want, so that’s just what I’m going to do. I’ll still probably incorporate some of my older ideas but they won’t be the stars of the show. What is the star of the show? You tell me. That’s one of my problems; I never really know where I’m going with something until I’ve hit a wall I can only assume as my destination. I start a conversation and wonder where it will take me until the other person chuckles uncomfortably and walks away; I cook something until it’s ruined, but I eat it anyway because that would be a waste. Sometimes I tell myself that it was for learning experiences, but I know there’s a good chance, I’ll never attempt to make that recipe again. Sometimes the person I start a conversation will end up having something really cool to say, and I have an equally cool response and we end up being friends on Facebook; or that random meal turns out to be amazing and I remember why I’m going to culinary school in the first place, but overall, my life is a viscous cycle of negative, positive. Funny thing is whenever something, e.g. this cycle of outcomes starts negatively, there are always more negatives than positives. I’ve grown to accept it and now, I just think of my life making things interesting for me. I have had so many “learning experiences” I just don’t know what to do with myself. Theoretically, I should be the smartest, most interesting person in the world, but apparently the Dos Equis guy beat me to it. Stay thirsty, my friends.